Very corny jokes, courtesy of Ree Drummond, The Pioneer Woman:
What do you call a retired cowboy?
Deranged.
What did 0 say to 8?
“Nice belt!”
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
Did you hear the news about the corduroy pillows?
They made headlines.
How do you organize an outer space party?
You planet.
What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
Dam!
What do you call a cow that just had a baby?
Decalfinated.
What do you call exploding underwear?
Fruit of the BOOM!
Why was the baby strawberry crying?
‘Cause his mom and dad were in a jam.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
Bi-son.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra.
What does a nosy pepper do?
Gets jalapeño business.
Why did the orange go out with the prune?
Because he couldn’t find a date.
Proton: I think I lost an electron.
Neutron: Are you sure?
Proton: Yep, I’m positive!
Why do melons have big weddings?
Because they cantaloupe.
What is the definition of a farmer?
Someone who is outstanding in his field.
What did the mayonnaise say when someone opened the fridge?
“Close the door! I’m dressing!”
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work?
A stick.
What did the judge say when the skunk walked in?
Odor in the court.
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
They kept saying “Bach-Bach-Bach!”